Longmire: Realizations
by burog25c
Summary: Walt and Vic have to come to the realization it's okay to love someone and move on.


Longmire: Realization.

Vic looked around the cabin. She felt like Martha was watching, judging her in some way. But in WHAT way? The little she'd been told about Walt's deceased wife led her to believe that Martha would like her as a person and a deputy, but would her ghost approve of "The Holy Terror" as a partner for Walt?

Taking a deep breath and unconsciously holding her stomach where her baby girl should be growing, Vic replayed what she'd told Walt the day before: She'd never miss anyone as much as she missed the baby that should be inside her womb, and he'd never miss anyone as much as he missed Martha. How the fuck could they build a relationship on the junkheap of their misery?

Walt pushed his cowboy hat back and just enjoyed the scenery. He had been to many places in the span of his life, but this wide-open land, with its mountains, rugged terrain, and quietness… the ability to move or drive or ride and not have to bump into other people every second, that is what he loved.

He didn't realize at first that he was talking aloud. "Martha, I love her. Vic's the ONLY thing I've let myself care about since you died. You and Cady are my life, but Vic? For some reason I think she is my future. You'd love her, hell you loved me. She's got the rough edges for sure, but then you dealt with mine. I just…" Walt trailed off, unconsciously squeezing the brim of his hat.

"I just… I…", he trailed off. _I just want you to like her, tell me it's okay to care again, hold you, tell me I'm not stupid for trying to move on?_

Putting his fears and longings back on the shelf, Walt ambled back to his horse, and climbed back in the saddle. He knew Martha, she would never be replaced, but she would be disappointed if he cut himself off from ever trying again. He knew that, but how could he tell Cady about Vic? Would she approve? Condemn him? He didn't know, but he DID know he loved Vic. She was the one thing in his life that now gave him hope and the courage to move on. He was fairly certain that Cady would tell him it was okay to move on, and out here, in the back end of nowhere, he finally felt like it was okay to move on, and that Martha would tell him to move on.

Vic was just putting up the last coffee cup when she heard that old beat up Bronco pull up in the front yard. She walked out onto the porch waiting for Walt. When he stepped out, she felt a tingle inside. Sure, he was a bit older, but, with that hat, the coat, and the long stride, she just couldn't help but smile. Walt went to the back of the horse trailer and spent a few minutes getting the horse out. She wandered over and took the brush from his hand.

"Like this?" she asked.

"Uh-huh" Walt replied.

Vic had seen that look on his face before. She took a deep breath as she stroked the brush along the horse's flank. "So, what are you thinking about?"

"Something you said", Walt replied. Reaching up, he cupped her cheek and turned her face towards his. "You're right, I'll never miss anyone the way I miss Martha. Doesn't mean I won't miss you. It will be different. You aren't her. Martha was kind and quiet and gentle…" Walt trailed off.

Vic felt a pang of envy. She wasn't quiet. On more than one occasion she'd given free rein to her foul mouth and temper. She didn't even want to know what Walt thought when he compared her to Martha.

"Here's the thing though. I loved her for who she was. I won't deny that, and no one can ever be the person who gave birth to Cady." Walt and Vic both took a deep breath. She started to tell him it was okay, but he put a finger to her lips.

"You? I love you for who you are. Seriously. I didn't think I had it in me anymore. If you left my life? I would miss you for reasons other than the ones I miss her for. I love you because of who you are."

His gnarled fingers reached up to cover hers as she brushed slowly brushed his horse. "Walt…. Damnit I'm not good with this shit!" she blurted.

"You don't have to be good, just say it."

"I can't replace your wife, I know that".

"I'm not expecting you to." Walt replied gently squeezing her hand

"I just feel her ghost sometimes, and wonder how much she'd hate me." Vic looked into Walt's eyes, feeling a tear slip down her face.

Walt placed his hands on Vic's shoulders then took a deep, deep breath. "I think she'd love you. Hell, she'd be glad that someone would try to keep a rein on me. Sure, you might be a bit more… uhhhhh…" Walt looked towards his left, "vocal in how you get your point across."

Vic wondered what had become of HER. Before she lost her baby, she'd have had some kind of smart-ass comment to offer. But now? And Walt? He'd literally said more in the last couple of minutes than she'd heard from him in entire days or even weeks.

"Jesus Walt. When did you become such a chatterbox?'

"Don't know" Walt replied, a grin splitting his craggy face. "Maybe when I realized it was okay to love again and maybe I should actually say stuff."

"What stuff?" Vic asked as she reached up to stroke Walt's face.

"You know, that important stuff… Like… I love you for being Vic?" Walt felt like a fool. Weak. Tears sliding from his eyes.

Vic reached up to his face, her thumbs wiping his tears away. "Uh-huh… you just like my ass!" she said. Walt laughed and pulled her close and for that moment in time, everything felt right. No regrets about being here, no regrets for lost family. Just home for them both.


End file.
